An Example of Inner Realtionship Focusing:
Read one person’s story of how just one Inner Relationship Focusing session brought a change:

"I want to share what happened in my Focusing session today.

"I noticed that Focusing also lost popularity here in town with the therapists as well. I figured they had run into the same problems I had.

"I got some shocking news by email just as I was starting my Focusing session. I chose to Focus on that. At first the flood inside was overwhelming but I chose to say " There's something about this e-mail I want to explore." (That was our practice phrase for the exercise.) Learning number one: Just saying that allowed me to step aside and watch the flood,  rather than being washed away in it. It turned out that focusing on "all that" about this e-mail revealed things inside me that were very vast and rich.

"I came in touch with a really, really sad place that has lots of mourning to do. It felt like there were days' worth of crying to do,  and noticing that brought up a scared place that wanted to protect me from being overwhelmed. Usually I veer away from that 'days worth of crying' place because it's just too much. Here's another learning: Today I could see it – without having to go there – and see also the sad place, and have lots of easy tears, which I've never had. I never knew until today what people were talking about when they said easy tears – for me crying has always been a terrible choking place full of shame.

"I'm now aware that, although I initially judged it as a block, the scared place was what enabled me to be in Presence with the "days worth of crying" place. When the scared place came up in reaction, I remembered to include the scared with the sad. My first impulse was to push the sad place away, but with Focusing, I experienced the sad place and more! I had always thought I would never to be able to stand even just the sad place. With Focusing, there is just so much room 'inside.'

"As I write this I'm also aware of how now, after connecting with these deep feelings (and in a relatively short time) I don't have a headache, I don't feel drained, and in fact there are parts of me that feel invigorated, refreshed and even excited. I'm surprised to notice this.

"Focusing gets us to such surprising places, there is so much richness in 'all that.' And 'Presence language' facilitates experiencing without being overwhelmed. I cannot emphasize how safe and free I now feel because I have a way to experience "big stuff" instead of stuffing it. How life-affirming that is. I'm not so scared of ...umm I was going to say emotions... umm but I really mean my inner life... I'm not so scared of my inner life anymore. In fact, as I write this, I'm aware of more excitement, and gratitude, and a sense of looking forward to my next focusing partnership session with a feeling inside almost like I'm a kid and it's my birthday coming, because focusing is such a gift to myself.

"I'm so grateful to my Focusing partner who facilitated a seamless and very deep experience for me today as my companion, and for the connection and care he demonstrated afterwards when I said I was feeling vulnerable. And yay me for 'following the life' of the moment as it happened."

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